


Just a Few Sprinkles

by nsofties



Series: It's Sprinkles' World, and We're Just Livin' In It [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: A lot of cursing, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Dog Walker Johnny Seo, Falling In Love, Happy Ending, Introspection, Johnny-centric, M/M, Mentioned Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Mentioned Kim Hyojong | E'Dawn, Mentioned Lee Hoe Taek | Hui, Mentioned Lee Taeyong, Mentioned Mark Lee (NCT), Mentioned Nakamoto Yuta, Minor Angst, Physician Assistant Kun, Radio Show Host Johnny, Strangers to Lovers, and kun is too, johnny is a love-struck fool, like a lot of cursing so if you don't like that just know that i felt it worked for this piece, when i say johnny-centric i mean johnny-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-21 19:38:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17648624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nsofties/pseuds/nsofties
Summary: Johnny always assumed that Sprinkles’ owner was a older man who lived on his own. Maybe an empty nester who wanted a companion once their kids moved out. Johnny did not expect to meet Kun.“So, I’ve been thinking -”“Shame.”“Shutup. Like I said,I’ve been thinking. I’ve never met Sprinkles’ owner.”





	Just a Few Sprinkles

**Author's Note:**

> this is very very v e r y johnny-centric. in fact, a good portion of the beginning of this focuses on johnny - his thoughts, his past, his actions, his mind. i used this as a way to explore au!johnny more than anything else.  
> i also projected a lot of myself onto these characters - i had them say things i wish i had heard growing up, and i had them do things i wish i had the courage to. growing up is scary and it never really stops, but i hope we all take moments to reflect and then help those around us who could use the advice and words we never received. this is my quiet message to all of you, who are unsure and scared and curious.  
> also, as always, not really edited (though i did read through each section a few times to make sure it flowed okay) and definitely not read in its entirety by anyone else before it was published.  
> if i could re-do this, i would. but, here it is.

For what it’s worth, Johnny loves his day job. To be more specific, he loves his day job for _many_ reasons. At the top of his list is that it supplements his night job as a DJ - his father’s voice echoes in his head saying _radio personality_ , but Johnny likes the way DJ sounds better - well enough that he _can_ go out to eat every weekend whenever Mark or his co-host, Jaehyun, sends him a text asking to meet at that cheap diner down the street from his apartment. A close second is that his day job is being a dog walker. And, as someone who lives in an apartment, one) with a roommate who is allergic to all creatures fuzzy, and two) in a complex that doesn’t allow pets, Johnny can fulfill his fervent need to own a furry friend through it.

And Johnny _knows_ \- he knows he isn’t supposed to have _favorites_ , but he can’t help it. For the longest time, his favorite dog was Mrs. Jung’s corgi, Duke. A well-behaved and rather refined dog, he never caused Johnny any trouble and, to an exhausted dog-walker running on a few hours of sleep, those traits were especially desired in a dog. Johnny firmly believed that a better dog did _not_ exist in their city. Until Sprinkles.

Sprinkles, a wire-haired Brussels Griffon resembling a hybrid between Yoda and a gremlin, has a disposition that puts Duke to shame. Johnny has yet to meet Sprinkles’ owner, Kun Qian, though can tell how much he prizes his dog from the way Sprinkles is always impeccably groomed and well fed, dressed up with high-end accessories. (Johnny didn’t even _know_ that Balenciaga made pet accessories.) Sprinkles has the perfect temperament, but, comically, _knows_ how perfect he is, walking with a strut that Johnny can only describe as _confident_. Johnny fucking _loves_ this dog.

The first time that Johnny met Sprinkles, he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The small dog was sitting next to the couch like some sentient being from another universe that was waiting for Johnny before going on some long journey to find the meaning of life. The journey to find the meaning of life never happened, but he _is_ very sure that Sprinkles _knows_. What exactly, Johnny isn’t sure, but the dog is really too smart for his own good and Johnny _kind of_ wants to ask his owner what exactly he feeds his dog. Regardless, Johnny _really fucking_ loves Sprinkles. Even if he looks like a fuzzy Yoda. If anything, that just makes Johnny love him _more_.

In fact, he loves Sprinkles to the extent that he doesn’t even mind carrying the small pooch around in a weird baby-dog-carrier hybrid when Sprinkles breaks his leg after getting tangled up in some blankets. He arrives to pick the dog up one day, an apology note with a lengthy explanation and the carrier on the kitchen counter. Jaehyun sends him a picture of him with the dog carrier with the message, _hey - u ok?_ The cone that Sprinkles has to wear is partially covering his face and the other dogs are tangled around his legs and all Johnny can do is send him an essay of why Sprinkles is the best dog ever. His friend replies with a brief, _ok_ , followed by, _u should see if u can borrow the dog for the radio show one night im sure people would love him_.

_You’re a fucking genius_ , is all he can reply.

Johnny, however, doesn’t know _how_ to ask Kun to borrow Sprinkles. He runs through several variations of, _Hey, so, I’m that late-night radio host, JohnD, and I was wondering if I could borrow Sprinkles for my show because I fucking love your dog and we film the show sometimes so your dog would be a late-night radio show star_ , but none of them feel right. He hasn’t _met_ Kun, and the only thing the owner knows about him is that he shows up at one in the afternoon Monday through Thursday to walk Sprinkles. Eventually the idea falls from his mind and Johnny forgets about the thirty-four drafts of similar emails collecting dust on his computer.

He mostly forgets because Johnny’s life is a comfortable routine to some extent, and anything out of the ordinary can usually be brushed to the side. He wakes up and makes himself a cup of instant coffee, a touch of sugar and no cream. His roommate is already gone by then, so Johnny blasts his favorite song and makes breakfast once the caffeine kicks in. Sometimes, if the music is too loud, or Johnny drops a pan a few too many times, his neighbor from downstairs will complain to him when they run into one another at the elevator, not that Johnny really pays them any mind.

Finally starting his day means Johnny gets to see Sprinkles. It’s the only thing that keeps him trudging through the gross city slush from winter snowfalls and contaminated puddles from rainfall and humidity in the dead of the summer. Jaehyun tells him a _dog_ shouldn’t be what makes his work worth it, but Johnny silences him with an amused glance as he reminds his friend that he’s a _dog walker_ during the day and _yes_ , a well-tempered dog is reason to celebrate. Walking the dogs tends to take up his entire day, though he doesn’t complain as the job not only pays quite well, but he gets to spend his day with _dogs_.

Some days, Johnny will take a nap after walking all the dogs, effectively wrecking havoc on his sleep schedule and irritating Jaehyun as he sprints into the studio with a coffee stain on his shirt and pillowcase imprints on his face. Other days Johnny will spend his free evening scouring the internet for smaller, indie artists to feature on their show - it’s something about his job as a radio DJ that he _loves_. Their show isn’t _huge_ , per say, but they’ve accumulated a rather decent following through the years, ranging from disenchanted university students to insomniac corporate hotshots. Because of this, Johnny makes sure that the artists that they feature cover a variety of genres - and talents. Occasionally Johnny will feature a comedian he felt fond of, or a motivational speaker whose encouraging works felt particularly pertinent for the week.

Johnny loves his day job, but he loves his night job, too. He knows that at some point it won’t pay what he wants - and he _knows_ that day is probably going to the day that he finds the love of his life and decides that the only logical next step in life is starting a family. But, for a single bachelor with student loans splitting pay for a shitty city apartment with terrible water pressure and power outages once a week, every two weeks if it’s a good month, his pay is good and he can’t complain. Both jobs satisfy his financial needs for the moment, and that’s all Johnny can really ask for, especially considering being a radio show host started off as a hobby in college for him in the first place.

Being a host of a show also offers, for the most part, routine. While receiving and reading questions tends to have various outcomes, the overall structure and timing of each segment is pre-set, so Johnny doesn’t have to worry about being thrown off his _rhythm._ There is a break during their show when they play music for about thirty minutes without commercial breaks, and Johnny usually takes the moment to check his email for any updates from dog owners for the next day. Typically there is nothing out of the ordinary. Today, much to his chagrin, is not ordinary. Johnny stops at one email and his body stiffens before it goes slack, his head slamming aggressively against the table that he and Jaehyun sit at. The latter jumps in surprise, raising an eyebrow as Johnny holds up his phone with a shaky hand. Jaehyun has to grab his wrist and take the phone to read the email, but can’t stop the snort that he lets out.

“Don’t _laugh_ , Jaehyun. I can’t believe he’s is going on vacation for _two weeks_ and sending Sprinkles to a _dog hotel_. I could watch him.”

“No, you couldn’t. Your roommate would murder you or punt Sprinkles out the window or _both_.” Jaehyun jabs Johnny in the side to force him to sit up. “It’s only for two weeks. Don’t you still walk Mrs. Jung’s dog?”

“Yeah, but Duke isn’t _Sprinkles_.”

“Sprinkles looks like a gremlin. He’s not that great.”

“You take that back!”

“Johnny, _you_ say he looks like a gremlin. I’m just stating the truth.” Jaehyun shrugs, tidying his papers that shifted when Johnny’s head collided with the table. “Anyways, maybe when you reply you can take the opportunity to ask the owner about borrowing the dog for our radio show. He’s a gremlin but he’s a cute gremlin. People would _love him_.”

“Make up your mind - is he ugly or cute?” Johnny pauses, holding up a hand to stop Jaehyun from replying. “On second thought, don’t elaborate. I totally forgot about asking about Sprinkles. I’ll do that right now.”

“Are you _really_ answering an email in the middle of our radio show?”

“Of course. We don’t have video feed for today and it’s the middle of our break,” replies Johnny, his tone implying that, of course, he does this several times every week. Jaehyun watches as Johnny drafts about fifteen emails before feeling satisfied, only to let out an anguished cry as he realizes he spelled Kun’s last name wrong. “I’m never going to get to walk his dog again.”

“Did you ask about the radio show?”

“Oh, fuck.”

 

* * *

 

 

Johnny waves around his fork as he talks around a mouthful of pancake. Jaehyun, pulling a disgusted face, dodges the piece of pancake that flies off the end of it, soaked in syrup. It lands with a loud smack on the vinyl of the booth and he uses a napkin to pick it up, before crumbling it all into a ball and throwing it at Johnny with such little force, the napkin simply falls into the pool of syrup on his plate. Johnny picks it out without missing a beat. “So, I’ve been thinking -”

“Shame.”

“Shut _up_. Like I said, _I’ve been thinking_. I’ve never met Sprinkles’ owner.”

“It’s been a _week and a half_ since you saw the fucking dog, Johnny.” A mother shoots Jaehyun a withering glare as he swears loudly in the family-friendly diner and Jaehyun would have half a mind to be embarrassed if he wasn’t annoyed with Johnny. “ _Relax_.”

“ _Listen to me._ I’ve been curious about this for a _while_ , Jae, so humor me.”

“I’ve been humoring you for almost seven years now.”

“Fuck off. _Anyways_ , like I was saying. I’ve been thinking, and I’ve never met Sprinkles’ owner. I’ve met most owners at least once or twice, whether it’s on a weekend or one of the days I’m not walking their dog. But I’ve _never_ met Sprinkles’ owner. The dog wears a fucking _Balenciaga collar_ , Jae.”

“They make those?”

“That’s what I’m saying! This Kun Qian _has_ to be some rich dude who was like, I’unno, a single father or something, and now all his kids are moved out, so he moved back to the city, and now he owns a dog to keep him company.”

Jaehyun places his fork and knife down before clapping his hands together and asking, dead serious, “Did you really come up with a whole ass life story for him just because of his _dog_?”

Johnny waves his fork around again and Jaehyun is sure that, at some point in time, the pieces of soggy pancake are going to go flying and hit another patron and he’s just been lucky that it hasn’t happened yet. Shoving the pancake into his mouth, Jaehyun grimaces as he begins to speak with his mouth full. “Of _course_ I did. Who do you think I am? How do you think I occupy my time when I walk all those dogs?”

“I’unno. Listening to music like a normal person? Paying attention to the dogs that people are paying you to walk? You know these dogs are like peoples’ _children_ , Johnny. You can’t be so careless.”

“I’m not being _careless_ , Jae. If anything, I think they’re worth more than you.” Johnny waves away Jaehyun’s cries of insult, choosing instead to slap his hand against the table several times to reign him in. “ _Anyways_ , what do you think? I mean, he lives in a really nice studio on his own, _and_ he buys his dog designer accessories. His apartment, from what I’ve seen, anyways, is fucking _impeccable_. The only thing I could come up with is that he’s some rich dude who only spends money on his dog. Not that I blame him, or anything. I would spoil Sprinkles if he was my dog, too.”

“Or he’s some guy around our age who _does_ actually have a roommate and has a nice job. That’s a thought.”

“Do people like that exist?”

“Doyoung.”

“Okay, _other than_ Doyoung.”

“Literally _all_ of our friends from college _._ ”

“Noted. _Anyways_.”

“ _Please_ stop talking about your weird ideas about what the owner does for a living.”

The rest of the breakfast they have is relatively uneventful, and Johnny spends the rest of his day walking dogs and _thinking_. He knows that he’s always been one of the more care-free individuals out of their group of friends that would congregate once a year to catch up. Johnny didn’t think it was really an issue, or anything. But, when he thinks about it, Jaehyun is doing the radio show to help pay for the Master’s program that he’s enrolled in, Doyoung is steadily working his way up the corporate ladder, Yuta is a PhD candidate, and Taeyong owns his own dance studio. And Johnny? All in all, he’s not really sure what he _wants_ from the future. Eventually he wants to get married and raise a family, but he isn’t even really sure what he wants to do next _year_ , so thinking that far ahead into the future isn’t helpful.

Johnny, rather proudly, has a Bachelor of Science in Biochemistry, much to the surprise of many who meet him. He himself doesn’t think it’s very surprising - he’s always had a knack for chemistry and biology just paired so nicely with it. And, until he started working for the university radio station, Johnny seriously considered vet school. But he does suppose that it seems a bit weird that he didn’t do anything with it. And, in his defense, he wholly intended - and still intends - to. Johnny, though, loves routines, and being settled into one that _works_ makes him hesitate to leave it. There are tabs and bookmarks and links in a file that are for lab technician positions, because he knows that he should ease his way into the industry after a handful of years away from lab work. He thinks that maybe after a few years as a lab tech, he would go back and pursue a Master of Science, or perhaps even a Doctor of Philosophy. But Johnny is comfortable in a routine and doesn’t see the point of breaking out of it. Johnny knows he needs to move forward soon. He just hasn’t found a reason to yet.

It also isn’t to say that he’s completely left science behind - his old advisor still sends him current scientific journal articles to keep brushed up on his literature, and reading them makes Johnny miss standing at the lab bench all day, his advisor’s odd choice of Swedish death metal playing in the background through the closed office door as he ran PCR or purified antibodies using PEG precipitation. Johnny thinks to himself that he wouldn’t mind a nine-to-five job as a lab tech, or in industry, doing nothing but protein purification or nucleic acid extraction for the rest of his (able-bodied working) life. He likes schedule, he likes rhythm, he likes routine; science, in a way, gave that to him. Of course, there were moments when experiments didn’t go as planned, and Johnny would have to scrap the weekly schedule he had spent Sunday evening putting together, but in the lab, everything was methodical as long as he was prepared. And that’s what Johnny loved, maybe even more so than the intellectual stimulation that science offered him.

Johnny just wishes that someone would’ve given him advice sooner. Things like, your major doesn’t define you and, most importantly, odds are that you’re not going to have your life figured out at twenty-two. Johnny was under the impression that he was supposed to know what he was doing for the rest of his life when he graduated and, to his disdain, he didn’t have a fully-fleshed out idea of his future. To make it worse, everyone else around him did. It took him a year and a half to figure out exactly what he wanted to do and how to get there, and Johnny still isn’t perfectly sure it’s the future he wants. Part of him wishes that his parents had been stricter with him, pushing him towards a set goal. Johnny realizes that he would’ve be unhappy like that, but he still thinks that perhaps it would’ve made his life a little easier.

The future is uncertain, and Johnny isn’t really sure where it’s headed. The dogs pull him forward, breaking his concentration. The future is uncertain, but Johnny figures that he’ll make sense of it all when the time comes.

 

* * *

 

 

Johnny looks at the reply to his email once, twice, three times, blinking steadily. He reads it out loud once for good measure, making sure his voice inflects properly and he’s not reading it incorrectly. “Hi, Johnny! I would be more than happy to let you have Sprinkles guest on your radio show! You just have to promise to bring him back to me safely! What hours are your shows? Depending on them, I might have my roommate pick Sprinkles up instead! I’m finally back from my trip, so if you could resume your typical schedule walking Sprinkles this Monday, that would be great!” Johnny has never seen someone use so many exclamation points in one email. His throat even feels a bit sore, having forced his voice up a pitch as he read it out loud.

At the bottom of the email is, for the first time, to Johnny’s knowledge, Kun’s signature block. _Kun Qian, PAC_. Before he can let his mind wander, he sends Jaehyun a quick text, asking when would be okay to have Sprinkles on the show, before burrowing himself back in his thoughts. Kun, whoever he is, is a physician assistant _and_ has a roommate, forcing Johnny to throw his entire theory out the window. Not that Johnny really cares, anyways. Just getting a glimpse at who Sprinkles’ owner is seems like a sign for Johnny to stop prying. He swallows the urge to Google Kun - nothing good ever came out of Googling someone, Johnny reminds himself, as his phone rings.

“Got your text. I’m excited to have Sprinkles join us for the show. Can you ask his owner if next Wednesday works?” The sound of voices muffles Jaehyun’s voice and Johnny lets him know, waiting until it’s silent until he prompts him to speak again. “Sorry. I was just packing up to leave the library. Anyways, can you ask if next Wednesday works? And if they’d be open to letting Sprinkles join us... I’unno. Every other week? Or less often if that’s what they want. Don’t wanna stress the dog out, right?”

“Sprinkles is pretty calm,” reasons Johnny, putting Jaehyun on speaker as he begins to write a reply to Kun. “How does this sound? ‘Kun’ -”

“Oh? Their name is Kun.”

“Right. Anyways. ‘Kun. Our radio show is late - it runs from eleven at night until one in the morning. I’m guessing that your roommate will likely have to come pick Sprinkles up from the studio. I’m pasting the address below. I promise to keep Sprinkles in good health. My co-host and I were actually wondering if you would be willing to let Sprinkles come every other week. If you would prefer for him to come less frequently, that is fine, too. We just think that our audience will love him! I look forward to resuming Sprinkles’ typical walk schedule. Best, John Seo.’ Sound good?” Jaehyun hums in affirmation and Johnny interprets it as an _okay to send_ hum, closing his laptop when it’s sent.

“I hope Kun lets Sprinkles come often. And maybe it’ll attract a wider audience, too.”

“Probably.”

“You sound distracted. What is it this - hey, _fucker_! That’s a fucking _stop sign_! Fucking city drivers. Sorry. What’s on your mind?”

“Try not to get hit by a car, Jae.”

“I’m _trying_. Not my fault drivers here fucking suck. Anyways, seriously. What’s got you so distracted?”

“He’s a _physician assistant_ , Jae. _And_ he has a roommate.”

“I _told_ you! I wonder what his roommate does for a living.”

“You can ask them yourself when they pick Sprinkles up from the show.” Johnny kicks his feet up onto the old coffee table as he talks, examining his socks that most definitely have holes in the heels. He can feel the cold surface of the wood on his skin as he taps his feet together. “Oh, wait.” The sound of his email echoes over his call, prompting Johnny to reach out for his laptop, barely flicking it open with a finger. It feels like hours until the screen lights back up, prompting him to log in. Once his email is refreshed, he smiles brightly. “’Johnny. Perhaps every two weeks with Sprinkles on the show would be better? I’m definitely not able to pick Sprinkles up if your radio show runs that late, so my roommate, Ten, will be bringing him and picking him up! I’d love to watch your show, though. Send me a link to any recordings when you have Sprinkles on if you can! Thanks! Kun.’”

“Why are you reading it in such a high voice. I doubt his voice is _that_ high.”

“It’s all the exclamation marks. If I don’t read it that way I’m doing a disservice to his writing.” Johnny sends back a quick, _Awesome, thanks Kun! I’ll be sure to send you the link next week_ , before shutting his laptop again. “I’m gonna take a nap before work. You need anything else from me?”

“For you to _be on fucking time_ , Johnny.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Johnny falls asleep quickly - it’s a trait that he’s awfully proud of and Jaehyun has always resented him for - and, for the first time in years, wakes up before the alarm he set to get ready to leave for the station. So, for a minute, he stares at the ceiling and contemplates what exactly he’s doing with his life, before he decides that’s a road he’d rather travel when he _doesn’t_ have somewhere to be, as much as he loves to annoy Jaehyun. He doesn’t bother to glance in the mirror as he scoops his wallet and laptop into his backpack before traipsing out the door, double-checking that it’s locked behind him.

Sunday passes by quietly, as does Monday, and Tuesday. Even Wednesday seems quiet and uneventful until Johnny looks at the cushioned chair being wheeled in, taking up the space between him and Jaehyun. The question on the tip of his tongue is answered as their sound engineer, Hyojong, waltzes in, followed by a stranger holding -

“Sprinkles! You must be Ten!” Johnny all but shoots out of his seat, sticking his hand out for the newcomer to shake. “Thanks for showing him in, Hyojong.”

“Not a problem. I’m just as excited to have the dog on the show as you are, to be honest.”

“You must be Johnny, then.” Ten reaches out after carefully tucking Sprinkles under his arm. “Please don’t tell Kun I’m holding his dog like this. He’d have my head.”

“I can take him,” replies Johnny. He carefully holds the small dog in his arms before placing him in the chair. Sprinkles stares up at him curiously before curling up on the chair.

“Oh my God. He’s weirder in person. I love it,” whispers Jaehyun with wide eyes.

“Don’t let Kun hear that. You’ll be writing a twenty-page apology to Sprinkles, _with citations_ , if he does.” Ten rolls his eyes as he talks about the way his roommate puts his dog on a pedestal. “Kun’s a great fucking roommate, but by God does he love his dog more than anything else.”

“Johnny might love Sprinkles more.”

“Doubt it. Kun _only_ goes thrifting just so he can buy Sprinkles things from designer brands. It’s ridiculous. Anyways, Hyojong - your sound engineer, right? - said I can hang out with him until the end of the show. Is that alright?”

“Oh, totally. Are you good, though? Like, don’t you have work in the morning or something?”

“Nah, just got off it,” says Ten with a wave of his hand. “I’m an aquarist. I usually stay late to help take care of the fish and clean up after I do all my outreach events.”

“Oh. That’s awesome. Wow. So, do you have a degree in Biology or something?” asks Jaehyun, watching as Johnny sits back in his chair, choosing to stare intensely at the small dog.

“Marine Biology. And I just got accepted to grad school in the city, so hopefully after some amount of years I’ll be able to work with the animals full-time.”

“Good on ya,” says Johnny with a grin.

“Yeah. Kinda sucks that I’ll have to start working at the aquarium part-time -”

“Shouldn’t you just quit all together? Grad school is a lot.”

“Probably, but... the aquarium is my happy place. I love getting to teach kids about the ocean and convince them that their passions can become professions, you know? No one ever told me that my love for the ocean could turn into a job. They all told me to be realistic, whatever the fuck _that_ means.” Ten shrugs and smiles easily. “Anyways, good luck with the show. Sprinkles is usually curled up in bed around now, so he may just sleep through the whole thing.”

“Wouldn’t mind that. Maybe we should get a station pet or something, though. What do you think about a turtle?”

“Fuck no,” says Hyojong. “Someone would have to take that thing home and I know neither of you would. It’d fall on me or Hwitaek. I’m not letting that shit slide again.”

“It was just a _rabbit_!” says Jaehyun, slamming his hands on the table.

“Yeah, you say that because _you_ didn’t have to take it home! Whatever. We’re starting soon. Get ready.”

“I’m getting that turtle if it’s the last thing I do!”

“It _will_ be the last fucking thing you do! If I come in tomorrow and see a fucking turtle, I’m firing your sorry ass!”

“Please don’t buy a turtle, Jae,” sighs Johnny tiredly as he puts on his headphones.

The radio show goes as usual, and Johnny bids Ten and Sprinkles farewell at one in the morning before trudging his way home. That night, Johnny can’t sleep. All he can think about is what Ten said: _No one ever told me that my love for the ocean could turn into a job_. Lauv’s _I met you when I was 18._ is the soundtrack to his thoughts, playing softly through the headphones that Doyoung had gotten him as a gift last year. Johnny’s pretty sure that they were just the gift Doyoung got through his office’s Yankee swap, but he didn’t mind - a present is a present and Johnny was in dire need of new headphones, anyways. As he stares in the general direction of where his ceiling hides in the darkness, Johnny thinks.

Johnny thinks about how, lately, all he’s been doing is thinking. About any number of things, really, but Johnny’s been doing a lot of thinking and not a lot of doing. More than anything, though, Johnny’s been thinking about a lot of what-ifs. Like, what if he had majored in business like his dad told him? Would he be in a different city, like Doyoung, working his way up the company from a cubicle to an office? Would he make bad jokes over lunch in a pizza shop down the street and fall in love there, too? Would he be living on his own, a better apartment every time he managed to convince the board to give him a raise? Would he be happier?

That’s what stumps Johnny the most - _would I be happier?_ And, for what it’s worth, Johnny doesn’t really know. He feels like he’s in this kind of limbo - Johnny is content, but he’s not sure if he’s happy. He’s comfortable in his routine, but he’s not sure if he finds himself feeling genuinely happy about where he is. Johnny doesn’t tell that to anyone, though, least of all his mother. She calls, and they talk daily, usually when he’s walking dogs, and he always assures her that he’s where he’s supposed to be. Which isn’t a _lie_ , per say - Johnny firmly believes that people end up in the places where they’re meant to be. So, Johnny believes that he’s supposed to be in this city, working two jobs, and, otherwise, blindly stumbling through life.

Johnny thinks about it a little more and decides that he _is_ happy. He just thinks that he can be happi _er_.

 

* * *

 

 

There’s something saccharine about the way that Kun speaks that makes Johnny think, _oh, fuck_. He tells himself to get a grip, but Kun is ten thousand times better than he thought he was going to be, and Johnny can’t get over it. Johnny’s not even _with_ Kun - they’re talking on the phone and Johnny already realizes he’s as good as gone. Kun is just talking about Sprinkles and Johnny is falling for the sweetness in his voice. Johnny wonders if anyone will ever talk about him like that, and a voice in the back of his head whispers, _anyone or Kun?_ and Johnny honestly doesn’t know.

He’s building this picture of this person he’s never met in his head and falling in love and - Johnny knows that Jaehyun would say _love_ is a bit extreme, a bit severe, a bit much, but Johnny can’t find a different way to describe the warmness in his chest when he listens to the half-stranger talk about the way Sprinkles has to turn around in seven circles before he feels comfortable enough to lay down and sleep on the pillow next to his head. Johnny is building this picture of a stranger and he isn’t even sure if he cares if it’s right or wrong - he keeps it close, anyways, closes his eyes as he lets Kun talk for hours.

This isn’t the first time - Johnny’s done this before. Built a picture of a person in his heart and watched as it fell apart in front of his very eyes. But Johnny’s heart is big, and Johnny still loves the person in the end, anyways. Maybe not the same way, but his heart is big and there’s room for everyone and so Johnny loves them as much as he can. Jaehyun says he needs to stop getting his heart broken, but Johnny just can’t see it as that because his heart doesn’t break as much as Jaehyun thinks it does. It hurts a little, and then Johnny remembers that his mother always told him that people are precious, and if you love them once, chances are you’ll still love them in the future, too. So, Johnny loves them anyways. Johnny just loves.

He’s jostled from his thoughts as Kun makes a sound that’s a mix of surprise and anguish. “Well, I should go, probably. I’ve been talking about Sprinkles for an _hour_ now and since my, ahem, favorite and most-trusted dog walker in the city is sick today, I have to go walk him myself. Which is fine. I told them someone I know is sick, so I couldn’t come in, which is _true_.” Johnny replies with some sound that’s half-laugh, half-cough, and Kun tuts. “I also shouldn’t keep you awake. You should sleep, you know.”

“Okay, okay. I _know_.”

“Thanks for letting me talk about Sprinkles for an hour. Ten cuts me off after five minutes lately.” Kun’s laugh is soft and Johnny thinks that there’s probably more to his laugh - that Kun probably has a laugh depending on the occasion. He wants to hear all of them one day. “Go to bed.”

“I _can’t_. Jae - Jaehyun, the guy I work at the radio station with - is bringing me cold medication, so I can still make it to work later.”

“You’re going to _work_ in your condition?” The faint sound of an elevator fills the silence, Kun’s voice muffled for a moment. “That’s the _last_ thing you should be doing!”

“It’s not like they’re filming it tonight. As long as my voice is fine I can work.”

“It’s _not_ fine, though! You’re ill. You’ve spent a majority of this phone call _coughing_ -”

“Yeah, actually, don’t you have work or something -”

“Oh, God, you’re delirious! I _just_ told you I took the day off!” Sprinkles barks in the background and Johnny flinches. Right. Maybe he _wasn’t_ exactly listening - “You cannot go to work in your condition. You call this Jaehyun right this instant and tell him that you _cannot_ , under any circumstances, go to work today.”

“I need to get _paid_.”

“You _need_ to get better. The moment I hang up, you better tell him you can’t make it to work.”

“Right.”

“ _Johnny_.”

“ _Okay_.”

“... I better not hear you on your radio show tonight.”

“You’re not even going to listen in.”

“Well, I will tonight!”

“Right, right.” A knocking at his door breaks Johnny’s lackadaisical concentration on the phone call. “That’s probably Jae with my medicine. I should go.”

“ _Johnny_ -”

“Promise I’ll be better tomorrow and back on my schedule! See you!”

Hanging up, Johnny is halfway to the door, before he stops dead in his tracks. Jaehyun is still banging at the door, which eventually opens, Johnny greeting him with an expression of anguish. “Oh, Jesus _Christ_ -”

“I said _see you_ , Jae. _See you_. I’ve never - I’ll _never_ see him ever. Why did I say that?”

“How did we ever become friends? Seriously,” says Jaehyun, hitting him in the chest with the bag of medicine. “I got DayQuil, liquid and gel capsule, NyQuil, liquid and gel capsule, Theraflu, Mucinex, Advil, Tylenol, Sambucol, Alka-Seltzer Plus, Oscillococcinum, store brands. You name it, I bought it. Choose your drug.”

“... Why so many?” asks Johnny, pulling out the box of DayQuil before waving ti around. “I just asked for this.”

“Because last time you _just asked for this_ , I didn’t buy _enough_.”

Johnny pauses, his mind flashing back briefly to the last time he was sick and whining, and nods. “That’s fair.” He watches as Jaehyun slams his backpack on the table, pulling a box of orange juice, canned fruit, and crackers out of his backpack. Johnny pours himself a glass of water and takes the medicine before hopping onto the counter. His friend pulls his laptop out of his backpack and blindly jabs around with his charger until he finds it, hidden behind the leg of the kitchen table. “... What’re you doing?”

“Working.”

“Yeah, don’t you have class soon?”

Johnny stares expectantly at Jaehyun, who pointedly ignores him, swearing under his breath at his group members for their project. It takes Johnny clearing his throat for Jaehyun to grace him with a response. “Nope. Not going.”

“Jae -”

“ _Not going_. I’m staying here and making sure _your_ sorry ass doesn’t pass out or something. Now drink that orange juice and eat the canned peaches and you better heat yourself up some of that Campbell’s soup I know you hoard and crush a pack of those saltines.”

“I -”

“ _Now_ Jonathan!”

“That’s not even my name!”

“Johnny, I swear to _God_ if you don’t, I will shove a can of -”

As if planned, Johnny’s phone rings and he leaps for it before Jaehyun can keep talking. “Hello?”

“Did you tell him that you can’t work tonight?”

Johnny freezers, not knowing the context of the question, before his brain reminds him that, _hey_ , you just had a phone call with Kun Qian. He wracks his brain for what they spoke about before he finally replies. “... Y-yes?”

“... Are you lying?”

“... No -”

“Johnny, _eat your fucking soup_!” Jaehyun slams his hands on the kitchen table as he stands up. “I did _not_ skip my fucking statistics seminar just for you to _ignore me_. I will not be ignored!”

“What do you want me to do? Eat it straight out of the can cold?”

“Do you want _me_ to make the soup?” Johnny says nothing, instead choosing to stare directly at Jaehyun, who eventually concedes, holding his face in his hands. “You’re fucking five. It’s a mystery how you’ve lasted this long. Heating up the soup now, you goon. I swear to God, if you don’t marry someone who can cook for you _and_ put up with your headassery, you’re done for.”

“I know _how_ to cook. I just prefer frozen meals.”

“... You eat _frozen meals_?” asks Kun in horror. Johnny, remembering Kun is still on the phone, pales. “You eat frozen meals. Oh my God. Put me on speaker. Is that your friend there? Put me on speaker right this instant.”

“... I suddenly can’t talk on the phone, sorry -”

“You will _never_ see Sprinkles again if you don’t put me on speaker phone.”

“You can’t use the dog as a bartering chip! You know I’ll crack!”

“Put. Me. On. Speaker. Phone. _Now._ ” Johnny, hesitantly, puts his phone on speaker, and immediately Kun’s voice fills the silence. “Jaehyun, right? Johnny’s friend? This is Kun Qian - Sprinkles’ owner.”

“Oh, hey. Thanks for letting us borrow your dog. And your roommate, too, I guess?” Jaehyun’s voice is muffled as he digs through the pots and pans in the cupboard near the stove. Finding what he needs, he retreats, hitting the back of his head on the counter as he tries to stand up too early. A loud _fuck!_ echoes through the kitchen and Johnny wheezes as he laughs at his friend curled up on the floor around a pot.

“... What just happened?”

“Jaehyun got his just deserts!” cackles Johnny, slapping his knee.

“Stop laughing at me and _help_ me, you fucking _Yeti_.”

“Neither of you should be left to your own devices,” sighs Kun.

“ _Hey Bigfoot!_ Help me up! Jesus Christ - Johnny, if you choke on your cough drop, I’m not saving you.”

“See you in hell, then,” chokes out Johnny as he coughs.

Kun isn’t really _there_ , but it feels like he’s there as he banters with Johnny and Jaehyun as the two fight over the pot and who’s going to heat up the soup. Johnny wants to prove that he’s fully capable of cooking, and Jaehyun just wants to make sure Johnny isn’t dishing out thousands of dollars again to fix a scorched roof. Kun reminds them that it isn’t even cooking - it’s simply heating up a can of pre-made soup in a pot. They didn’t even have to make the stock themselves, or cut up any vegetables, or cook the meat, or season the soup, though he does recommend that they add _something_ to the soup - Campbell’s canned soup can only be so good without adding fresher ingredients. Jaehyun shouts that he’ll prove he’s the better cook and tells Kun to warn Ten that he’ll be bringing a home-cooked meal to the show the next time Sprinkles is on. Johnny wheezes and recounts how last time Jaehyun cooked all he did was chop vegetables for Taeyong.

Johnny wonders how the phone call changed from Johnny checking in with his usual patrons last-minute, letting them know he had woken up with a high fever and nasty cough, to Kun bickering easily with them. He fits right in, and Johnny thinks that meeting Kun was supposed to happen. Maybe the circumstances would have been different in a different world, but something about Kun makes Johnny realize that they would’ve found some other way to end up in one another’s life. Perhaps it’s the way that Kun laughs at Jaehyun’s shitty jokes, or the way he reminds them to turn off the stove, or the way that he says Johnny’s name like he’s known him since the day he was born.

He can’t help the smile that emerges when he checks his email during the break, Jaehyun force-feeding him a handful of cough drops. _You really went to work? Well, as long as you’re back to walking Sprinkles tomorrow. If not, I might have to stop by and take care of you. It sounds like Jaehyun might just be doing more harm than good._

 

* * *

 

 

Johnny, contrary to his promises, is not better by the next day. Or the day after that. In fact, Johnny, to his chagrin, is diagnosed with the flu. Jaehyun laughs at him on the phone when he lets him know that he won’t be at work for at least a week. Hanging up, Johnny wheezes out a _fuck you_ before downing NyQuil and letting sleep take over. It’s a pattern that repeats for several days, though at one point Jaehyun kicks open his door, bags of coughdrops raining down to the floor as he tosses them into the air before frisbeeing boxes of flu symptom medicine towards his general direction, a few hitting him on the head. He yells out something about being glad Johnny is still alive and hoping he gets better quickly before slamming the door shut and sprinting out the door. Johnny rolls his eyes with great effort before falling back asleep.

The sound of his door slamming into his wall barely rouses Johnny from his sleep. Johnny’s first thought is, _how long have I been asleep?_ His second thought is, _am I being robbed?_ Debating the consequences of _not_ opening at least one eye, he gains the strength to pry it open, nearly choking on air as he sees who it is. “ _Ten_?” he croaks out. Johnny doesn’t visibly move, but his body tenses are he stares at him. After a pause, Johnny whispers, softly, but with feeling, “What the _fuck_?” Johnny likes Ten. For what it’s worth, he considers the man a close friend at this point, particularly after all their late-night conversations about the future and choice. Johnny doesn’t think, however, that Ten is the best visitor when he’s bedridden.

“That’s right, Sasquatch, it’s me!”

“I put the soup in the fridge and started boiling water for tea.” Ten looks smug as Johnny processes the owner of the new voice. “Oh! Did Ten wake you up?” Before Johnny can reply, Kun - or, at least, the owner of a voice that sounds _exactly_ like Kun’s - smacks Ten on the back of his head. “I _told_ you not to wake him up, didn’t I?”

“For all we know, he could’ve been dead!”

“Weren’t _you_ the one who told me that Jaehyun had checked in on Johnny just yesterday?”

“... A whole day is a long time?”

“I let you come along with me with the understanding that you would _not_ disturb him.”

“You let me come along because _I’m_ the one friends with Johnny and Jaehyun after taking your dog to the radio show for the past few months.”

“I’ll give you five seconds to walk out of this room.”

“Right. Don’t have to tell me twice. Feel better soon, Johnny-boy! Everyone misses you at the radio station, though Mark’s been doing pretty well in your place.”

“ _Ten._ ”

“Right, right! I’m out. You know your way home. Glad to see you’re alive, Johnny.”

“... Yeah. Thanks,” says Johnny absently, watching as Ten waltzes out of the door with an easy-going wave.

“I’m sorry for showing up announced, Johnny. Uh, I’m sure you know by now, but I’m Kun Qian. Jaehyun told Ten that you were diagnosed with the flu and that you weren’t taking care of yourself. I figured I would make you soup, and maybe bring you the tea my mom always made me when I was sick growing up, and that Ten or Jaehyun could bring it over, but then Ten dragged me over and I _told_ him to let you sleep and that I would just drop everything off and then -”

“I’m sorry.” Johnny’s voice is weak, and it crackles, a round of coughs seizing his body before it stops and he catches his breath. “You’re… -ing a little… -st.”

“What?”

“Talking. Fast,” murmurs Johnny.

“Oh. Oh God. I’m sorry. Jesus, I always do this - I always talk too much, I’m sorry - hold on, let me go heat up some soup and make the tea for you now that you’re awake.”

Johnny, blinks, and realizes that Kun has rushed out of the room before he can say anything. In the end, Johnny rests his head back on his pillow, listening to the auxiliary sounds of Kun working in the kitchen. Something about it is comforting. Johnny is never home when his roommate cooks, and vice versa, so Johnny has not heard the sounds of someone else in his kitchen without him since he moved in.

When Johnny was younger, he would wake up to the sounds of his mother and father preparing breakfast together, the news faintly playing in the background. Johnny doesn’t realize he’s recounting this memory to Kun, who stands in the doorway with a mug full of tea and a bowl of soup, until the latter is sitting on the edge of his bed and humming in understanding as Johnny uselessly babbles. He should stop rambling - he recognizes this as Kun raises an impatient eyebrow, waiting to feed him soup.

“... Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I would love to talk to you about your childhood any other day, but I think for now you should focus on getting better.”

“My mom made the _best_ soup,” mumbles Johnny as he tries to sit himself up to eat. Kun watches over him patiently, though he nervously inches away if Johnny leans in his general direction too often. It hurts Johnny a bit to see him so nervous around him, but he chalks it up to Johnny being a contagious mess. “I mean, I’m -” Pausing to cough, he holds up a hand, asking for a moment, before his throat decides to _not_ be an interruption. “’m sure your soup is really good, too.”

“Well, you’re going to have to _eat_ it and get better so you’re not coughing every five seconds for you to make a judgment.” Kun tuts and Johnny feels five as the bowl of soup is carefully placed in his lap. It’s not too warm, and Johnny immediately begins to eat, Kun watching silently with a smile. “The tea is half black tea, half apple cider vinegar with a heaping addition of honey. It always helped me out when I was sick. I don’t actually know if it does anything, but I figured it might help you out a little.”

The soup soothes Johnny’s throat and he feels content as he speaks without his throat dying out on him in the middle. “Anything is great, to be honest. When Jae stopped by yesterday, he threw Theraflu at my head and dropped like ten pounds of coughdrops on me before telling me to hurry up and get better. He did make me breakfast on Monday, though. Porridge.”

“Oh. That’s why they’re all over the floor?” Kun looks around Johnny’s room. The usually spotless floor was decorated with a collection of coughdrops - name and store brand - with some solitary coughdrops joining the party. “Do you want me to pick these up?”

“It’s okay. They’re easier to grab.” Kun looks at him like he has five heads and Johnny shrugs in response. “I got long arms. I can just throw my arm over the side and pick some up.”

“... Right. Anyways, I’ll leave once you finish eating. Everything will be as clean - or cleaner - than when I arrived.”

“Oh. Okay. Thanks, then.”

“I know you’re probably going stir crazy, but the more you rest, the sooner you’ll be better. You know that, right?”

“... Yes.”

“Okay. Then eat quickly so I can go and you can rest. You’ll be walking Sprinkles and working at the radio show sooner than you know it.”

Kun talks over the sound of Johnny eating with stories about Sprinkles from the week that he missed. Johnny likes listening to Kun talk about his dog - his voice is fond and soft and close to how Johnny always imagined he would sound in person. Talking on the phone weekly was _nice_ , but getting to hear Kun talk in person was even nicer. Johnny thinks that he could listen to Kun talk about anything. He listens passively, simply enjoying the company until one story in particular catches his attention. “And on Saturday I took Sprinkles to the dog park, like I always do, and he -”

“Wait. You go to the dog park on Saturdays?”

“Of course! I need to let Sprinkles stretch his legs.”

“Which one?”

“Well, the one in the park that you usually walk him through. Why?”

“I walk through there several times on Saturdays. I’m just surprised I’ve never seen you.”

“Oh, well... You didn’t know who I was until today, right?” Kun’s eyes flit away nervously as he laughs softly.

“I just figured I would’ve remembered your face, I guess.”

“I think I have a pretty average, forgettable face. You’ve probably seen me and just don’t remember.”

“Well, _I_ like to think that I would remember a face like yours.” Johnny knows he has this goofy grin on his face as he looks at Kun whose ears bloom into a bright red color that trails down his jaw and up to his cheeks.

“Sure, Johnny. Just eat your soup.”

When Kun eventually leaves, Johnny stares at his ceiling, coming to a conclusion. He’s _really_ head over heels for Kun. Like, _hello, I’ve planned out our wedding a few times in my head before we even met_ , kind of head over heels. Johnny is a firm believer in love at first sight, but he kept telling himself that there was _no way_ that he had fallen in love with someone the way he had just from _phone calls_. Jaehyun would disagree - he _knows_ Johnny. Knows how Johnny falls in love and how Johnny loves, and so nothing is really all that surprising. Johnny has a big heart and finds it easy to love people. Kun is easy to love. It was something like a perfect match, and maybe that’s why Johnny found himself in love with Kun before they even met. And, even though Johnny didn’t want to admit it, he _likes_ being in love with Kun.

Something about Kun is gentle and familiar, even if Johnny had been wrong about him all along. Loving Kun is easy, but loving Kun is also _new_. When Johnny thinks about all the people he loved in the past, nothing was easy, and they were full of uncertainty. Kun is new, but there is nothing uncertain about the way that Johnny loves him. Johnny loves Kun the way you love someone you’ve known your whole life - deeply and without hesitation. Even if he’s only _officially_ known him since today. Johnny has, after all, always been a hopeless romantic.

Before falling back asleep, Johnny decides that once he’s better, he’ll ask Kun on a date. Sprinkles included if necessary.

 

* * *

 

 

“I like you, Johnny Seo. Not the, _I think you’re a really good dog walker and I’m glad you love my dog as much as I do_ , kind of like, but the, _I would like to potentially spend the rest of my life with you_ , kind of like.” Johnny doesn’t _mean_ to, but he laughs when Kun confesses. In his horror, he slaps his hands over his mouth and stares back at an offended Kun, whose eyebrows furrow in hurt. Johnny absolutely, one-hundred percent knows that he fucked up when Kun runs off and Ten storms up to him less than an hour later, Johnny still sitting at the same cafe, with a baseball bat - “Where did you even get that?” “Not important you fucking Yeti! What’d you do?!” - and profanity that forced the barista to ask them to leave.

He feels substantially safer with a park bench separating them, even though he knows that Ten’s reflexes are likely superior to his, and one swing of the bat would put him in the hospital. The bench is simply a metaphor - or some poetic shit like that - of the space between them. Johnny also knows, for a fact, why Ten is here.

“Listen, I know I’m stupid -”

“Oh! So, he knows!”

“Okay, you don’t have to rub it in -”

“And I don’t have to swing this _bat_ , either, but I _can,_ and I _will_.” Ten lets the bat drop to the wooden bench, emphasizing his point. “Listen here, Seo -”

“Just Johnny is fine -”

“Now is _not_ the time, you fucking _lug nut_.”

“L-lug n -”

“I did not waste my Saturday afternoons I had free with Kun in the fucking _dog park_ watching him shove Sprinkles into his fucking coat or cardigan or _whatever_ whenever he saw you appear and deadass sprint to hide behind a fucking tree for you to _break his heart_.”

“I didn’t _reject_ him -”

“You fucking _laughed_ in his face, Johnny Seo, and if that doesn’t sound like a fucking rejection, then tell me. What does it sound like?”

“I was _nervous_.”

“Well, your stupid fucking nervous habit just broke Kun’s heart.”

“I _like_ him -”

“You better fucking tell him that, you _stupid fucking mothman_. I didn’t step aside and help the man I’ve been in love with for _seven years_ meet his stupid fucking crush for you to _break his heart_.”

“Wait, that’s a lot to unpack -”

“For _another time_ , you stupid whore -”

“Why so many mean names -”

“Do you think you deserve my compassion after I watched Kun run into our apartment crying? Because I don’t fucking _think so_ , you fucking mule -”

“Hey, mules are great -”

“Jesus _Christ_ , Jonathan!”

“Not my na -”

“Go tell Kun how you actually feel or I’m breaking your fucking kneecaps with this baseball bat.”

Johnny is blindly running to the familiar address, mentally taking a note to speak with Ten in the future about that bombshell he dropped. Though, as Johnny slows to a jog and waits for the elevator once inside the building, he realizes that it isn’t necessarily a conversation that _he_ needs to have with Ten. The elevator door opens and Johnny stares blankly into the void, waiting several moments before it closes again, and Johnny _thinks_. Thinks that maybe Ten should speak to Kun before Johnny and maybe it isn’t his place to interfere until Ten’s settled his thoughts and -

And Johnny turns to leave, but the elevator doors open again, revealing a red-eyed Kun. Johnny’s body moves before he can even think, jumping into the elevator before the doors close, regardless of Kun’s frantic and haphazard jabbing at the button for his floor in an attempt to coax it to leave faster. The elevator ride is a minute, _max_ , and so Johnny takes a deep breath before speaking.

“Hey, so I know that you probably don’t want to see me after the shit-show in the cafe, and that’s _totally_ understandable - hell, I wouldn’t want to see myself either, you know? But, like, also, my laughter was a nervous reaction - I wasn’t laughing at you _or_ your confession! I was laughing because I didn’t think you actually liked me back despite you agreeing to go on the date with me! I just figured that it was you being nice because, you know, you’re a really fucking nice guy, and I think you deserve better than someone who just walks dogs and hosts a radio show for his job - anyways, the elevator doors are about to open, I should go. Sorry.”

He doesn’t think he took a breath while he spoke, and he feels a bit light-headed as he stumbles while exiting the elevator. Kun stares at Johnny with wide eyes, the latter speed walking to the stairs after gaining his second wind instead of awkwardly waiting in the elevator again. “Wait, I’m sorry, _what_?” blurts out Kun. “Can you say that all a little slower?”

“... No?”

“Johnny Seo.”

“... Yes?”

“Okay. Then, go.”

“Uh... How’d I start again...”

“No, Johnny. Just - summarize it. Or, re-do it. I don’t know.” Kun is pursing his lips, but Johnny can see the start of Kun’s soft smile as he crosses his arms to lean against the wall. “Right? I’m waiting.”

“I _laugh_ when I’m nervous. It’s a really stupid fucking habit I have, and I got really nervous when you confessed to me because I thought I was hallucinating or something! Like, Kun Qian, the most perfect man in the whole world, liking me, John Seo, the biggest fucking bumbling idiot _ever_? It sounded _fake_ , and when I’m in a situation where it feels _wrong,_ I get nervous, and so I got really nervous and I _laughed_ because _what the fuck_. And, like, _especially_ since you deserve someone better than me, a dude working two jobs just to make it by! Like, what’re the odds, you know? But I _do_ like you. I like you _so much_ sometimes I tell Jaehyun that I _love_ you, because I’m pretty sure I do, and I know that sounds creepy since we barely know each other, but I really do love you, you know?”

Kun’s silence makes Johnny sweat and he thinks to himself that he deserves the silence after nervously laughing at his confession earlier in the cafe. He looks thoughtful before he sighs, gesturing for him to follow. Johnny awkwardly stands in the entrance to Kun’s apartment until Sprinkles excitedly bounds up to him, barking and jumping to be picked up. He does as the dog wishes, toeing off his shoes as he observes Kun. The two standing in a silence that is too comfortable for the situation they are in, Kun diligently preparing two cups of tea as Johnny feels his clammy hands dampen Sprinkles’ fur. He sits at the island in his kitchen, staring at Johnny silently before tilting his head to the side, looking deep in thought.

“... Did Ten tell you that I’ve had a crush on you since I saw your dog walking ad?”

“No, but Ten told me - wait, what?”

“One of my coworkers recommended a dog walker and I was going to hire _them_ , but then I saw your ad at the bus stop outside of my building with the picture of you with Duke, the corgi, and I emailed you to walk Sprinkles without even _asking_ the other dog walker about their rates. And then when Ten said he saw you walking through the park carrying Sprinkles in the carrier like I asked, I really knew I was a goner. I figured it was _nothing_ , but then you asked me to have Sprinkles on the show and I got to see how much you love my dog and then when we talked on the phone - well, I was really in trouble then.”

“Oh.” Johnny feels breathless, but in a good way. “ _Oh_.”

Johnny thinks that this is just a little blip. He isn’t even sure what he and Kun are yet, and he’s sure there will be more moments like this in the future. Moments where everything is a jumbled mess and they forget how to communicate like normal humans and it’s all Johnny’s fault. He’s sure of that, but he’s also sure that he is stupidly in love with Kun, and knowing that it’s reciprocated makes his heart constrict. Sprinkles wriggles happily in his arms, understanding the lightening mood. They haven’t had many moments yet, and Johnny knows that saying he _loves_ Kun is premature, but also something in his heart tells him that he’s just predicting the future.

There’s a lot of unpack and sort out - what they are and, more importantly, Ten, who Johnny worries about constantly in the back of his head - but, for the moment, Johnny is happy. Sprinkles patters around the kitchen once Johnny places him on the ground and sits across from Kun, accepting the mug of tea.

The future is vast and uncertain and rough, but Johnny feels better thinking that Kun will be navigating this world beside him.

**Author's Note:**

> now, less serious notes that i still think need to be said:  
> this is an apology to all the johnctzens i upset with my last johnkun :D i’m sorry please accept my apology also this is really really really bad so i apologize for that, too i’m honestly best at writing angst anything else and i start to get Weird. i also, myself, feel unhappy with the way i ended it, so **please look forward to a follow-up piece, for ten's sake.**  
>  also, this is set in some undetermined made up city in america where johnny can afford to live with only a singular roommate in a moderately okay apartment with only a few issues working only two jobs i’m sorry i’m bad at the whole setting thing i just kind of write and hope it just all feels cohesive  
> i had a professor in undergraduate who would close his door and play swedish death metal. he didn’t work with antibodies - he worked with fruit flies, but he was a character and i miss him sometimes  
> does balenciaga actually make pet accessories idk i made that up  
> let me know if i did better by johnkun this time around!  
> i can also be found on twitter and curious cat @nsofties if you don't want to comment on here! ^^ hehe thank you for reading!


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